does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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