I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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