her vagine was all disorganized.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
