haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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