i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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