smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
