did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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