it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
