Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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