Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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