Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
