He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
pop tarts are not kleenex
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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