I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Why did my mother make you get naked?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize