What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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