Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
