Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
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