I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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