I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
