it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
