I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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