Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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