My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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