I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
where does the pee come out of this thing
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
