so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
