Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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