Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
