So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
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I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
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Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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