I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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