but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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