I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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