my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
