Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
