That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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