They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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