Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
