I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Use "feeling words"
Yay
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize