if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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