I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
