The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
