I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
