all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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