I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
