i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize