the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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