At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We have started to decorate penises.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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