You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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