Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish you could order shots online.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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