some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
