dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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