she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
