I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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