were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
try to milk me bitch
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
