I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
