Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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