ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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