i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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