I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
