i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
