yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
